TV

The One Step New Year’s Resolution Solution

/ Alex Doriot / Leave a comment

MV5BMTkyOTM4NzgyMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjg5ODkxNw@@._V1_SX640_SY720_Most New Year’s Resolutions end up like most New Year’s Eve concert performances – fake.  

Seriously. Watch Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve tonight to see the ball drop and count how many artists actually perform live. You won’t need more than one hand.

We can all agree that Dick Clark was a saint, but pawning off blatantly lip-synched performances as an incredible treat to watch was not his finest quality. Unfortunately, most of our resolutions have the same hollow quality as a prerecorded Katy Perry song.

Look, you’ve probably read your fill of New Year’s blogs by now. Seems like every year more and more people are deriding the idea of a New Year’s Resolution.

Every writer has a statistic backing up their bulletpoints on how most resolutions never make it into February. I read a blog by Jon Acuff the other day where he said, “Waiting until January 1st to do something awesome is stupid and fake.”

I’m a huge fan of Jon, but I’m on the other side of the fence here. I am an avid supporter of New Year’s Resolutions. Continue reading →

Create Like R.L. Stine

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goosebumpsWho didn’t love Goosebumps as a kid?

If grew up in the 90s, there were 3 things that were always in your bookbag: an emergency supply of Gushers, one of those different color eraser pen things, and the latest ‘Bumps book. (Did people call them ‘Bumps? They totally should have.)

One man was responsible for revolutionary children’s horror anthology. Say his name with me:

R.L. Stine.

R.L. Stine churned out 62 Goosebumps books between 1992 and 1997 – an average of over 10 books per year! That’s not including the 50 Give Yourself Goosebumps create-your-own-adventure style books, plus 74 episodes of the television series based on the books, plus the Fear Street series he published at the same time aimed at teenagers.

Before Harry Potter began weighing down children’s backpacks, R.L. Stine was the undisputed king of kid’s literature.

But this blog is not about R.L. Stine the Goosebumps author.

Last week I read an interview on The A.V. Club with Stine. The interview focused on another aspect of his career.

What I learned in the interview completely redefined my childhood. Before a page of Goosebumps was ever written R.L. Stine worked on another landmark project: Continue reading →

Why You Should Break Up With Bad Television

/ Alex Doriot / 6 Comments

wdeadI used to watch “The Walking Dead” religiously.

The first season was one of the best I’d ever seen – suspenseful, surprising, and wildly entertaining. I could not contain my excitement for season two.

Then Rick Grimes and his crew showed up on Herschel’s farm. Everything went downhill from there for me.

I plugged along and kept hoping the show would return to the fine form of season 1. But halfway through season 3 I realized something.

I was becoming the audience equivalent of a walker – a television zombie.

I was not watching “The Walking Dead” anymore because I liked it. I was watching out of habit and hating myself for it.

This is not me trying to dissuade you from watching “The Walking Dead”. 16 million people still seem to be really enjoying it. If you’re one of those people, keep cheering on Daryl and the gang.

This post is me challenging you to not become a television zombie. Continue reading →

How To Save Walter White

/ Alex Doriot / 1 Comment

GQ

For months the internet has been breaking down “Breaking Bad”, the landmark television drama which comes to an end this Sunday.

What more really needs to be said about the greatest tv drama of all time (no argument)? What new perspective can anyone possibly offer on the deconstruction of Walter White?

Well, probably none. That being said, here’s my final, personal take on the man they call Heisenberg: This all could have been avoided. Continue reading →

A Human’s Lesson From DOGTV

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My dog has his own tv channel to watch.

DOGTV is a 24 hour network designed with canines in mind. The programs are set up like a preschool show with humans speaking directly to dogs at home, bright colors beaming out, and stimulating images and noises intended to keep a dog at a play while the owner is away.

Programs on the network include “Relaxation”, “Stimulation”, and “Exposure”

In fact, it’s kind of peaceful just to leave on in the background. “Relaxation” features an hour of waterfalls, lush fields, classical music, and video of sleeping dogs. (Also – that logo. Just perfect.)

If only there were some sort of dog evangelism on Sunday mornings! I just need to be sure my dog is going to Heaven one day…

The DOGTV website has all sorts of scientific and psychological evidence as to why their programming is good for your dog. Sure. I buy all that. I’ll keep turning DOGTV on when I leave the house

But here’s the thing: my dog doesn’t need DOGTV to be happy. A dog needs food and water and rest and adventure.

Audio and visual stimulation while the owner is away helps. I’m sure doggie pedicures and Thundershirts are nice too. They’re just not necessary.

I took my dog to a local dog park last week. He enjoyed it almost as much as I did. He ran all around the perimeter of the park peeing on every inch of the fence and sniffing every tree and leaf. I sat on a bench and journaled in the fresh air and ignored my phone for an hour. Life was perfect.

I think sometimes we lose ourselves in things we don’t need. I used to think I needed every channel on my tv just in case I missed the next great tv show.

Now I kind of think human tv should be more like DOGTV. A little stimulation every day, but more time focusing on relaxation and exposure to the real world.

There’s a billboard in my town for the local cable company. They’re advertising a DVR that lets you record four shows at once while still watching a fifth different show.

If you think you need to record four shows at once while watching another one, you’re watching too much tv. Even a dog could recognize that.

What do you really need to live? What’s something material you think you could not live without? Try giving it up for the afternoon. See what really happens. 

 

Why I’ll Always Love The O.C.

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http://nowhitenoise.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ocpilot.jpg

Everything I’ve learned about leadership I learned from The O.C.

Maybe that’s a stretch. But as the landmark soap marked it’s tenth anniversary this past week (and retrospective articles like this one from Grantland were all over the place) I started thinking about why I have such a soft spot for this bubblegum show.

I realized none of the articles I found on the internet really got to the heart of why I loved The O.C. – the heart of it all. Continue reading →

Take A Full Measure

/ Alex Doriot / 1 Comment

Mike The Cleaner Ehrmantraut is the best character from “Breaking Bad”.

Mike is a “cleaner” – a mysterious man who plays every side in the crime world, taking care of business for the highest bidder. He says only what needs to be said – no more, no less. He always puts business first.

Mike meets his match when he stumbles across Walter White in the show’s second season. While Mike always uses logic and sensibility in his criminal pursuits, Walter is reckless and dangerous. Worst of all, Walt is full of hubris.

At many points during “Breaking Bad” Walter has a chance to escape from his life of crime and the constant fear for his life that comes with it. But Walter, knowing he should seek safety, refuses to leave so easily. He can’t help but keep stacking the odds against himself. Continue reading →

The Breaking

/ Alex Doriot / 2 Comments

forbes.com

Walter White never expected to be on the run. As the final season of “Breaking Bad” began last summer, the show flashed forward to a scene a year into the future. Walter White is on the lam in disguise using a stolen identity, running away rom God only knows what kind of violent pursuit.

When he began his descent into murderous meth-cooking kingpin, Walter White just wanted to get in and out of the drug business with a nest egg for his family.

Walter White never expected to become a drug dealer in the first place. He was just a chemistry teacher with no savings facing down a terminal lung cancer diagnosis which would bankrupt his family.

Of course, Walter White never expected to develop terminal lung cancer. No one ever plans on having cancer. Life just sort of breaks that way.

Life has a way of escalating quickly. Maybe not as quick as “Breaking Bad” or those DirecTV commercials. But the plans we construct for our lives always seem to be unraveling. Continue reading →

Han Solo, Ron Burgundy, and The Insufficient Resurrection

/ Alex Doriot / 3 Comments

Hollywood is obsessed with the resurrection right now. And I don’t mean a sequel to “The Passion Of The Christ”.

I’m talking about the resurrection of past successes. Take a look at just a few of the movies and tv shows getting ready to relaunch after years of dormancy:

Star Wars Episodes 7/8/9. Anchorman 2. A Dumb and Dumber Sequel. The Boy Meets World continuation Girl Meets World. The Veronica Mars movie. A new season of 24. Another new season of Arrested Development. Seriously – that’s just a sampling of the classics Hollywood is resurrecting.

You’d think I might be uncontrollably excited about a few of these. Anchorman is probably the funniest movie of the past decade. Dumb and Dumber is my favorite comedy of all time. But I’m pretty much dreading these sequels. Continue reading →

The Wednesday War

/ Alex Doriot / Leave a comment

It’s Wednesday.

The week is half over.

It’s also July 3, 2013.

It’s the 184th day of 2013; the year is half over.

What have you done this week? What have you done this year?

What will you do in the second half?

Whatever you’re doing, don’t give up. Wednesdays can be the longest day of the week. But press on. You’re halfway there. Keep fighting.

Follow the lead of Forrest Griffin and Stephan Bonnar.

UFC, Newsday

Continue reading →