What It Takes To Win An Oscar

mashable.com

mashable.com

This Sunday night hundreds of nominees will sit inside a Hollywood theater anxiously awaiting to hear their name read. For if a presenter opens an envelope and does shout out their name it means they’ll be taking home the most important prize in the movie business – an Oscar.

For weeks and weeks the actors and writers and producers and directors nominated have been endlessly campaigning to win the golden statue.

Ads have been taken out in magazines and papers. Billboards have been plastered across Hollywood. Talk shows have been littered with performers on their best behavior trying to impress the voting audience.

But when the Academy Awards begin this Sunday there will be nothing anyone can do to alter their fate. Continue reading

The Shortcut To Popularity

tumblr_li2ojiqJD51qgj47lI cannot stress to you enough the impact Zack Morris had on my life.

Every day before and after elementary school I watched reruns of “Saved By The Bell”. Sure, the show was funny. But really I was studying Zack Morris.

Zack Morris was the epitome of cool. The slicked back bleached blonde hair. The giant cell phone. The swagger.

(Also he could stop time. That was kind of weird. But totally awesome.) Continue reading

So I Thought I Could Dance…

There I was, just an ordinary kid, on the precipice of the most important night of my life: the fifth-grade dance. If I had learned anything from watching hours of “Saved By The Bell” every morning before school, it was that true love is born at school dances.

nrcc.net

nrcc.net

Desperately desiring a girlfriend, I knew I needed to enhance my appearance for this night. This was my first school dance. It had to be perfect.

I picked out a snazzy shirt from my closet. I doused myself in drug-store cologne. I slicked my hair back and sprayed it down until it was brittle.

I looked good.

My best friend and I gave each other pep talks in the car on the way to the dance. I arrived with confidence, ready to find true love and dance the night away.

Instead, I spent the night stuffing my face with cookies and candy bars, standing scared against the wall for two straight hours. Continue reading